This is the Transcript of the #WeddingMarket Chat on July 27, 2017 with Wendy Rivera from Do You Speak Bride. The answers were made on Twitter so responses will appear different.


Wendy Rivera is a Globally Recognized Expert in the Bridal Industry, and has exploded onto the scene with Do You Speak Bride! Wendy is a powerful communicator both on stage and off, and has a passion for helping shoppes learn the very nuanced language of “Bride”. Wendy is a writer, director, coach, speaker, counselor, mom and bridal shoppe owner, and is passionate about helping bridal boutiques all over the world to increase every part of their business — and become THE destination in Bride Country!


Q1: What are the only appropriate greetings in Bride Country?


Wendy Rivera: Celebration! Look at the ring! Feel the bride’s joy and join her in it this is such an exciting time for them! Connect! So key though to speak her language! It is someone else’s language that we have to learn to be effective with them! It is so about morphing to each individual bride – celebrating with her wherever she is at. Definitely must be connected to who she is!


Q2: What are the words of death when interacting with brides?


Wendy Rivera: “Unfortunately”! Always replace it with “So” and then educate with energy, eyebrows up, and positivity! Any info given before empathy is shown! So vital to feel into the question before answering! She will hear you if she believes you care. Brides get so offended when you tell them their price point is too low and definitely typing over twitter instead of demo is hard to show the difference.
What I find as I teach is that so much is lost with the bride because of facial expression and tone – a “warning face” can be death! Picture the difference between a strict teacher face and a party planning face!


Q3:  What to say when it’s not within the bride’s budget?


Wendy Rivera: So many times when we see the pics and hear the budget our hearts drop because it feels we are being put in a no-win situation. It is easy to forget their inexperience! Or lack of education on costs. So first, your face has to stay open and positive “Oh my goodness I love those pics, love your taste! So first, your face has to stay open and positive “Oh my goodness I love those pics, love your taste! After $ is too low, “perfect, awesome, so I love this pics, super helpful! (with a smile, and energy).
So this designer runs from 5k-20k! Love them and this was super helpful in getting a feel for your look.
(staying excited) I’m going to go pull in your price point, and you can look through, if you see something you want to try point to it. And if it’s beyond your price point I’ll let you know before we pull it! It’s going to be so fun!” So vital to be excited about their price point first and then answer! Feel with them first, info second!


Q4: How do you communicate with security?


Wendy Rivera: It is about facial openness, tone, patience, pacing, and positivity. Don’t hurry her past her questions. Give a definite feel, even when the info is not definite. Security is communicated so much in your tone and through your eyes. The more you preface the info, the more freedom and security she feels. And KNOW YOUR STUFF!


Q5: Can you give examples of communication that may feel insecure if not done right?


Wendy Rivera: Communicating timelines/timeframes etc. Confident/Positive face/tone, and no apology face!  For gowns, measuring is super scary for brides, choosing a size etc. She needs to be given info with what I call “open face consulting!” Any info about pricing, options, extras, or something she wants that is an uneducated expectation. Our tone/facial response is huge!!



Q6: What is the difference between leading vs controlling? How is this important?


Wendy Rivera:  Leading=Inspiriation Controlling=Manipulation, Leading=Empowering Controlling=Limiting, Leading=Serving Controlling=Dictating. So vital in the difference in the effect and response of the bride, lead her and she will be safe, Control her and she will resist. Leading=Selfless Controlling=Selfish We will find solutions if we are leading for her, and see obstacles otherwise. Leading brings creativity, goes to where she is, and helps her move forward. Controlling demands she comes to where we are. It is so much about understanding her perspective, her limited experience, and her desires! She needs our help/encouragement! The comparison between the two is the best study EVER in understanding Love and how love will lead and manipulation will control! Good study!


Q7: How, when and for whom can positivity create magic? 


Wendy Rivera: EVERYONE but namely the bride, from the first meeting she should feel the magic that is genuinely love + support for her. She needs you to tell her “good job” as much as possible. Might seem strange, but she will love you for it!



Q8: What are story words? 


Wendy Rivera: Brides need a story, so if you can frame your answers in stories they can hear/trust you better. Help her see that her story is happening. I just have to say that it’s so cool that your mom is here all the way from…You stumbled on our shoppe..etc. It’s just a cool story! Help her see that her story is happening! Beginning, middle, end of interaction – always. A bride is more keenly aware that she is writing her own story right now!


Q9: How do story words create magic?


Wendy Rivera: So many times in our lives we miss that our story is happening. Saying the word “story” helps her to see her moment! Watching a light go on and tears flow when you are able to tie together her story for her is truly magic! Frame an answer to her question in a story, she truly feels secure in your answer. Get good at sharing stories that relate!


Q10: What would you like everyone to take away from this #WeddingMarket Chat?  


Wendy Rivera: The more we understand Love, the more we will understand Brides. Study love, study people, and work to connect!


#WeddingMarket Questions

@MobileMommies What words can I use that don’t concentrate on physical items? (ring, dress, etc)


Wendy Rivera: Celebrating the ring is celebrating the relationship! It is the symbol of their love, so def not the physical item you’re celebrating!

@CentralParkWed What about language of Groom?  I find it’s different. 


Wendy Rivera: Totally different! Yes! He needs easy, simple, quick, no fuss, relaxed, and repetition.

Disclosure: Wendy Rivera is a speaker listed in the Wedding Market speaker directory.

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