This is the Transcript of the #WeddingMarket Chat on December 4th, 2013 with wedding planner Mary Dann. The answers were made on Twitter so responses will appear different.

Mary Dann

As one of the most sought-after event coordinators in Southern California, Mary Dann-McNamee and her team of wedding and party coordinators have been responsible for detailed event planning and creative party consultation to many corporations and families throughout the country since 1991. They are known for their commitment to surpass their clients’ expectations and have created intimate weddings and extravagant upscale affairs for a long list of clients, including many of Hollywood’s elite. Mary’s passion for the industry has led her down many paths, including becoming a contributing writer for “Inside Weddings” magazine, “Ceremony” magazine and an on-air talent for many nationally syndicated television shows. These shows are Style Network’s Whose Wedding Is It Anyway” and “Married Away”, and WE Network’s “Platinum Wedding” and a special segments of “Top Ten Wedding Destinations”.

See more information about Mary Dann here: www.marydann.com .

Q1: How did you get involved with planning weddings?

Answer:

Mary Dann: I started planning weddings while working as The Catering Manager for The Ritz-Carlton Rancho Mirage (Palm Springs area). I felt like I was meant to juggle details & escort others thru the sacred journey.

Q2: What was your first paid event?

Answer:

Mary Dann: My 1st paid event was inspired by a couple I met and booked at The Ritz. After I helped them for the first few months of planning, I left The Ritz for another luxury hotel. They called me@ home & asked me to be their wedding planner.

Q3: How has your background in Clinical Psychology in Marriage & Family Therapy helped with your event planning business?

Answer:

Mary Dann: My background in Marriage Family Therapy helps me avoid “land minds” I,e, personality conflicts + exaggeration. Reduce stress for others, creatively think, refrain a negative to a positive and operate from an abundant and loving core.

Q4: How do you identify a Bridezilla during the interview process ?

Answer:

Mary Dann: The traits of a bridezilla are poor listening skills, low empathy for others (they don’t care about others) , focused on what they want, obsessive traits and all or nothing thinking and often say “im not bridezilla”

Q5: What are the red flags to look for?

Answer:

Mary Dann: Red flags to look for: low budget and high expectations. Sense of jealousy for your professional accomplishments. Trying to be your friend and blur the professional boundaries. When they share they are easily stressed out.

Q6: What should wedding pros say to decline a wedding?

Answer:

Mary Dann: To decline a wedding, I usually out price myself and give referral to other planners that might be better fit. A bridezilla for 1 planner may not be a bridezilla for another. Some planners like the chaos a bridezilla can offer.

Q7 : How to handle the Bridezilla if you already have a contract?

Answer:

Mary Dann: If you already have a bridezilla reframe the experience and view it as a lesson to learn and experience to have that will stretch you to build your levels of tolerance, compassion and confidence. My best lesson in life came from a my wedding navigation process with an unexpected bridezilla. Thankfully with more experience, bridezillas seem to stay away.

Q8: What are important items to include in your contract?

Answer:

Mary Dann: Include an overtime rate and price for additional face to face meetings. It is a way to protect yourself from over extending our self without compensation.

Q9: What important lesson have you learned that every upcoming planner should know?

Answer:

Mary Dann: Important lessons to know: take care of yourself before you take care of others. Take some time off to rest if you feel exhausted. Do something to relax. Maybe try CBD Oil UK: https://blessedcbd.co.uk or from dispensaries similar to Blessed CBD and have a long relaxing bath. Another important lesson to know: You can only give what you have; so fill your life with a balanced foundation.

Never be afraid to ask for help or advice. If you’re just starting out, you’re not going to have the same contacts or connections as more experienced planners. If you’ve heard good things about the events at Vuka, go to their site – Vuka.co – and look into them. If you’ve been looking for florists for an event, ask people for recommendations. Connections in this industry don’t come from no where.

General advice: Eat well, pray often, be charitable and delegate to trusted friends/staff and avoid self-medicating.

Q10: What was it like to work on Style Network’s “Whose Wedding Is It Anyway”?

Answer:

Mary Dann: Working on the first seasons of “who wedding is it anyway?” was like being on stage as a performer or playing an all-star game.

Q11: What are some your favorite wedding trends this year?

Answer:

Mary Dann: Favorite wedding trends: more intelligent lighting, All eyes on me and calling to showcase a loving kind way 2 manage others expectations. It stretched my ability 2 juggle & deliver an extraordinary service.

Q12: Can you tell me more about your book “Wedding Wisdom”?

Answer:

Mary Dann: Wedding Wisdom is a psychological approach to being the one who shoulders the responsibilities of planning the most risky event -a wedding while managing the stress and expectations of others.

Q13: Any exciting new project or events coming up?

Answer:

Mary Dann:

Exciting new project is being the reoccurring guest speaker at the flag ship bridal salon for Casablanca Bridal in Newport Beach. Keeping myself grounded & grateful by helping low income kids through the trauma of losing someone they love.

Q14: What would you like everyone to take away from this #WeddingMarket Chat ?

Answer:

Mary Dann: Key point to take away from this chat is the make sure you take care of yourself before others so that bridezilla don’t gravitate to you. After all every bridezilla is out of balance with themselves.

#WeddingMarket Questions From Twitter:

1. @PPEvents What is your go-to approach with dealing with a bridezilla?

Answer:

Mary Dann: my “go to approach” is kindness + compassion cuz most bridezillas have had little kindness in their life. Stay calm in the midst of chaos.

2. @PPEvents Can you personally tell just by interviewing a bride if she’s a bridezilla? If so, do you still take her on?

Answer:

Mary Dann: If I sense a bridezzilla in the midst, I will double my prices because i will need more professional help!

3. When do i say enough is enough?

Answer:

Mary Dann: When I have referral for them & I can calmly talk to them. You have to be the bigger person.

4. @BridalBalance I coach brides in emotional aspects of wedding planning. Is there a point when you refer a bride for help ?

Answer:

Mary Dann: I do my family & bridal coaching as they navigate the planning process. Sometimes I refer them to a therapist.